Making Changes
by Drop Dead Saxy
Summary: It was never going to be like it used to, but maybe, Olivia thought, it could be something great.


A/N: Not mine. Don't forget to review.

Things would never be the same. He knew that from the first moment that he met her. There was something about Olivia Benson that just got under his skin, in both good and bad ways. She would never back down, was the only one that would truly face his anger, and was the only one that could calm him down. When had he come to need her breath, when had his life taken a toll for the worse? It seemed she was the only thing that let him sleep at night, the only one who truly understood.

When she left, it felt like a hole had formed in him, a hole that would never go away. Olivia leaving was worse than his wife leaving. And with that thought always came with shame; why should it hurt more for her then Kathy? Kathy took the kids with her, that should hurt more than Olivia leaving without notice. Why wouldn't his thoughts give him a moment's peace?

Now she was back, just sitting across from him like nothing had happened, like she hadn't been gone, like he hadn't kissed Dani - although Olivia didn't know about that. He was angry with her, angry that he couldn't move on, that she's always there. So he took it out on her; why shouldn't he? It was her fault.

Olivia glanced up at him from the file she was looking through. Elliot was lost in his own thoughts. She knew he was angry, but even if she hadn't known, it wouldn't have taken her long to figure it out. He kept calling their victim Dani. She remembered seeing them through Cragen's window; they seemed to be comfortable with each other and the green monster jealousy had reared its ugly head. She was supposed to be watching his back, not Dani. But Olivia knew it wasn't Dani's fault: she was a good cop, just too ready to jump down peoples' throats - or so she had heard.

She had messed up. Casey was angry with her, Elliot was angry with her; if she weren't a strong woman, she would have thought of running. But she didn't like running; it made her feel weak. Olivia Benson was a lot of things, but weak was not one of them. She was a fighter and would fight Elliot with all her might - even if it meant being on the wrong side of him for awhile. Olivia didn't like the thought that they could never be the same, but through it all, she still trusted him and that was what mattered. She kept telling herself that she was only back to help the victims, but if she was honest with herself, she knew that wasn't true.

He had been wearing jeans. In all her years of knowing him, he had very rarely worn jeans to work: it was always suits. She felt like she wasn't a part of his life anymore. That's what bugged her most: that she didn't belong. They had always felt like her family: Elliot being the closest, the one she could talk to. Like a brother, but her feelings weren't sibling-like at all.

Elliot caught her eyes with his. Olivia wanted to turn away but his eyes held her captive. She could read his eyes, could see all the anger and pain, but underneath she could see hope. And that small flicker in his eyes gave her hope - hope that they could turn their relationship around.

Her nose started to sting. Crying - she hated crying, and she wouldn't let him see her cry. Why she was going to cry, Olivia herself wasn't sure, but she knew she had to get away from Elliot. Mumbling something under her breath, she pushed her chair back and walked quickly to the bathroom.

Elliot stared after her. _What was that?_ he questioned slightly to himself.

The case had Olivia thinking. Cheales knew he was a match to his wife, knew he could help. What was Elliot's blood type? Would she be able to help if he had a serious problem? While waiting for the elevator Olivia turned to him. "You know," she started. "In all the years we've been partners I still don't know you're blood type."

Elliot looked over at her, "A."

"What do you know, me too?"

They walked quietly onto the elevator. Looking straight ahead Elliot told her, "I'd give you a kidney."

"Not if I gave you mine first."

It was never going to be like it used to, but maybe, Olivia thought, it could be something great.


End file.
